Pale Blue Light

I wish I wasn’t so familiar with confusion, with dreams that stay only dreams –

How does a heart keep dreaming, after being broken?

By the window, wet with dew – cold to the touch, letting in pale blue light, from the early morning before every creature stops dreaming

And maybe you’ll wake up and remember me, From a far off place where we held eachother and moved slowly to a song too sweet to sing out loud

A song that is clear and known by every lovers soul.

On being Beautiful :

The constant desire is for others to find us lovely, pure in one way or another — Pure in originality, unhindered by the influences in comments of others – unbothered.

I’ll lay down on a bed of pink silk and cry with the angels — or I’ll lick blood off the cold concrete floor while they watch. It doesn’t matter what it looks like! As long as it yells “I don’t care!” Loud enough for us all to believe it for a second.

But once and awhile you’ll meet a beautiful soul – bouncing through the world on what seems like a trip of sorts, or a guess?

And they walk to a different beat, but their shoulders are relaxed, and they don’t laugh at the right times. And they truly seem, and I know this sounds absurd, to not care what you think of them.

And when you meet a soul like this you’ll go up and ask because you’re dying to know, “How do you not care!?!”And they will tell you, “HA! Don’t be silly, of course I care – I just try not to let it get me down!”


My monkey bars friend – both with calloused covered hands. Tell me the stories of your bumps and bruises. Tell me all the times you thought your wins were looses. With our hacky sac friendship in the spinning whirl, I’ll be the other person in your upside down world.


I hope you’re laying there thinking about big things like the sky and the stars. or something small, like little rocks covered in moss sitting at the bottom of the rain forest tree…or was it the ocean? Of course it was the ocean…that’s what you were thinking of.
And could I be there?…maybe You were holding me. the sand was rough and everything felt like when you stand on coral…it doesn’t hurt enough for you to complain, because everyone likes standing on coral right..just to say you could. It might be impressive Unless you get knocked by a wave into coral.

Is that our love? Is it something real but I’m afraid of the wave?..and who is the wave? Is it a person or is it you… I don’t love you holding me so much as I love that you are holding me. I might wish you would put me down but I love surrendering to the gesture that is being held. you can take me far away if you would like to..but I know I might die – ill be crushed and held under the wave when I try to swim back to shore.


The days flow in and out of each other –   In and out of consciousness.

Most things have changed but it’s all the same.

Moving in cycles

Sometimes inching forward

Mostly sideways.

Always spinning

Sometimes slowing.

Always shifting.

Sometimes forwards

Mostly sideways.


I can’t keep my balance.

The trees crack and moan

As I walk by in ignorance.

I can’t keep my balance.

My mind wanders in straight lines;

I have been here before.

The night sky is empty with no stars to lead me home.

I wanna go home.


But I can’t keep my balance.





You un-became who I knew you could be.

while I became unable to see.

through the co-co collage of soft textured skin –

touch leading to emotion.

Yet out of touch with You –

Knock. Knock. Knock. Open the door for regret because he needs a light

and you you hate to disappoint.

But you love to change the lock on my words so I’m unable to find the key.

New habits and old ones that sink like grounds to the bottom of the mug.

You un-became all that I knew you could be.